Maintaining a meaningful relationship with your loved one while being a full time carer

Posted on 1 August 2024 by Lucie Thornton

Balancing caregiving responsibilities with maintaining a meaningful relationship with your loved one can be tough, but it is essential for both of you. The change in dynamic of a relationship can be especially hard for husbands and wives and partners but equally the role reversal in a parent child relationship can be difficult to manage. We have put together some things to think about to help you maintain your relationship while being a caregiver

Communicate openly and honestly

Effective communication is the foundation of any strong relationship, and it becomes even more crucial when caregiving. Open, honest conversations about feelings, needs, and boundaries can prevent misunderstandings and resentment. Set aside time each day to talk, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Use this time to share your thoughts, listen to your loved one, and address any concerns.

Think about a routine

Establishing a routine can provide structure and a sense of normalcy for both you and your loved one. This doesn’t mean every day has to be the same, but having a predictable schedule for meals, activities, and rest can help reduce stress and make caregiving tasks more manageable. Within this routine, carve out time specifically for bonding and enjoying each other’s company.

Take Care of Yourself

Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary. Ensure you are looking after your own physical and emotional health. This might include regular exercise, healthy eating, sufficient sleep, and taking breaks when needed. A well-cared-for caregiver is more capable of providing care and maintaining a positive relationship.

Share Activities

Continue to do activities that you both enjoy. Whether that is watching a favourite TV show or film, playing a game, going for walks, gardening, or simply reminiscing about good times, shared activities can strengthen your bond. These moments of connection can provide joy and respite from the daily caregiving routine

Set Boundaries

Understand your limits and communicate them clearly. Setting boundaries is crucial so that the caregiving role does not overwhelm the relationship. It’s okay to say no to certain tasks or to delegate responsibilities to others when needed.

Celebrate Small Wins

Acknowledge and celebrate small achievements and good days. These moments of positivity can boost morale and reinforce the bond between you and your loved one. Recognise the effort you both put into maintaining the relationship and caregiving duties.

Embrace flexibility

Flexibility is key in caregiving. Things won’t always go as planned, and being able to adapt can reduce stress. Be open to changing routines or trying new approaches to make caregiving more manageable and your relationship more fulfilling.

Find out about your loved one’s condition

The more you know about your loved one’s condition, the better equipped you will be to care for them. Finding organizations and support groups can also help you to understand their needs and challenges. This knowledge can also empower you to advocate for their needs and improve their quality of life

Consider Respite Care

Don’t hesitate to use respite care to take a break. Respite care can provide temporary relief and give you time to recharge. It also offers your loved one an opportunity to interact with others, which can be beneficial for both of you. It’s also an opportunity to just focus on the activities you enjoy with your loved ones without the caregiving responsibilities. If you are considering respite care then find out more about respite on the Huntington and Langham Estate by getting in touch.

Being open and honest about your feelings, taking care of yourself and making time to still enjoy shared activities together, you can continue a meaningful and loving relationship while fulfilling your caregiving responsibilities. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and take time for yourself—doing so can make you a better caregiver and a more present, loving partner, family member, or friend.

Summer holiday inspiration for families living with Dementia

Posted on 21 June 2024 by Nicky Macfarlane

The school summer holidays can be a time of fun and extended family get togethers, but for families where a parent is living well with dementia but need extra care and support, it can also bring added challenges.

Balancing the needs of children and a grandparent with Dementia can be difficult, especially when planning activities that everyone can enjoy together.

Plan ahead for an active family summer

Planning summer holiday activities that both children and adults living with dementia can enjoy together requires thoughtful preparation to ensure a safe, fun, enjoyable, and a memorable experience for everyone.

Here are some questions to consider which will help find the right balance:

What are the needs and limitations of the family member with Dementia? – planning activities which are suitable for a mix of generations can be tricky. Choosing activities which can be done together and are appropriate for the cognitive and physical abilities of a family member living with dementia, will help avoid causing them undue stress or confusion.
What simple summer activities are good for someone with Dementia? – Opting for activities that are easy to understand and familiar can help to reduce anxiety and increase enjoyment for the whole family group. For example, activities that encourage interaction and participation from children, such as puzzles, or crafting can foster a sense of togetherness between grandparents and their grandchildren.
What are the best places to take someone with Dementia this summer – overly crowded or noisy places, can be overwhelming for someone with dementia but great fun for younger children, so whilst it maybe tempting to go to an indoor soft play park, opt for an outdoor park play area where there is quite space in the shade to sit in view of the play area.
How to prepare for the unexpected on a family outing – create a checklist in the notes on your phone, which you can add too and of course remember any necessary medication which is needed during the day. On a hot summers day pack sufficient snacks and drinks to keep everyone hydrated as well as light snacks to boost energy levels.
Why is it good to have a flexible plan – As people with dementia often find comfort in familiar schedules and routine, it is good to plan activities during their best times of the day. But be prepared to adjust plans as needed and be ready if an activity becomes too overwhelming to have alternative options ready.
What is the best way to communicate a planned outing to someone living with Dementia? – Explain the plans clearly and calmly to the person with dementia, using simple language. Provide reassurance about the day’s activities and think about giving them a written outline of the day to refer to.
What are the packing essentials – For many people living with dementia leaving their familiar surroundings can create anxiety, so bring along items that provide comfort and familiarity, such as a favourite blanket, cushion, toy, or personal memento. Accidents can happen, so a change of clothes can be a good idea if you are travelling any distance. Small, portable items like books, puzzles, or sensory toys can provide a calming distraction if needed.

By thoroughly preparing and considering the collective needs of both children and an adult living with dementia, can create a harmonious and enjoyable summer holiday experience that everyone will cherish.

7 top summer activities during the school holidays.

Here are some ideas for summer holiday activities that are suitable for children aged 5 to 15 and an older grandparent living with dementia.

Picnics in the Park – Local parks are a great place to get together as a family, not too far from home where everyone can enjoy a picnic together. Choose a nearby park with shaded areas, toilets on hand and easy walking paths. Packing a picnic avoids needing to worry about finding everyone’s favourite foods and any dietary requirements. The fresh air, gentle exercise, and a relaxed atmosphere can be enjoyable for everyone.

Gardening Together – Spending time in the garden planting flowers or vegetables, with everyone assigned simple tasks suitable for each age and ability, such as deadheading a raised bed, planting up or watering pots. Gardening is a well-known therapeutic activity that can stimulate the senses and provide a sense of accomplishment, as well as bringing back memories of past hobbies.

Crafting Sessions– When the weather isn’t looking good, organising a crafting afternoon with activities like painting, making collages, or decorating flowerpots, can be a relaxing and creative way for everyone to express themselves and spend quality time together.

Visits to Museums or Animal Experiences – in recent years, many local attractions are now much more dementia-friendly offering quiet areas and accessible facilities. Having grandparents and children interacting with exhibits at a museum or animals at an open farm, can spark conversation and provide mental stimulation.

Movie Marathons – when it’s wet outside who doesn’t love a sofa movie day with snacks, creating a cosy atmosphere with blankets and popcorn. Choose old favourite films to spark memories as watching familiar films can be comforting and entertaining for all ages.
An evening of Board Games and Puzzles– Select games that are easy to understand and can be enjoyed by both children and older adults to enhance cognitive skills and provide a fun bonding experience.
Storytelling and Reading – shared time reading favourite books or sharing family stories, encourages children to read to their grandparent and improve communication, learning as well as creating an emotional connection.

Dementia-Friendly Holidays further afield

For those able to travel further afield, planning an overseas holiday that accommodates a parent living with dementia can seem daunting. For many families this is no longer an option, which is where a respite stay in a Dementia friendly home like Langham Court can be a fantastic option.

There are holiday companies that specialise in dementia-friendly trips, ensuring a stress-free and enjoyable experience for the whole family. Here are 3 well known options:

Holiday Companies Offering Dementia-Friendly Holidays

Dementia Adventure – provide small group holidays for people living with Dementia and those who care for them.
Saga Holidays – are a well known holiday company tailored for the over 60’s and offer a high level of service for those needing accessibility support.
Able Community Care – offer a service that provides holiday carers to accompany people on holiday for personal assistance or simply companionship.

With the progression of each individuals Dementia journey, there will come a time when joining in family holidays or outings is no longer an option and it is at this point a Respite stay in a residential care home can offer a good solution to enable families to take a break.

We are always on hand to offer support and advice to families considering their holiday options. Read the firsthand account of the husband of a respite resident of Langham Court, who did just that here.

A guide to funding residential and nursing care in the UK

Posted on 10 May 2024 by Nicky Macfarlane

Funding residential care in the UK can be complex and daunting for first timers, due to various factors, including financial considerations, eligibility criteria, and navigating the healthcare system.

Our guide to funding hopes to offer guidance and advice on the key considerations to be taken into account and provide useful links for further reading. We are also on hand to help answer any questions via email huntington@hlestate.co.uk or phone 01428 604600

What are the 4 main funding options for residential care?

A move into residential care in the UK can be a significant financial commitment, however there are various options available to help cover the costs. Whether you’re arranging care for yourself or a loved one, understanding the funding options is essential for making informed decisions.

Here’s a comprehensive guide to the different funding options for residential and nursing care in the UK, including self-funding, NHS Continuing Healthcare funding, and NHS Funded Nursing Care.

Self-funding

Is the most straightforward option if you have sufficient savings, assets, or income, to pay for your care privately. That said, before starting to arrange a move into residential care, it’s essential to assess your financial situation accurately, especially if you’re planning for long-term care.

It is advisable to seek independent financial advice to help manage your assets effectively and plan for future care costs, taking into consideration your savings, investments, pension, property, and any other assets you may have.

Local Authority/Council funding

Is a means tested option for funding some or most of the care home fees based on having capital assets between £14,250 and £23,250. There is also the option of a deferred payment scheme, whereby the council pays for the care home and it is repaid later from the sale of a home or from an estate. Anyone with savings of over £23,250 won’t be eligible for council funding (rising to £100,000 in October 2025 and the lower tier to £20,000).

The council must ensure that the overall cost figure it calculates, called the ‘personal budget’, is high enough to meet the cost of at least one suitable care home. Based on a care needs assessment if the conclusion is care in a care home is required, a means test will work out the level of support on the costs given and what an individual needs to contribute.

NHS Continuing Healthcare (CHC) Funding

Is available for individuals with complex health needs who require ongoing care. This funding covers the full cost of care, including accommodation, for those eligible. To determine eligibility for NHS CHC funding, individuals undergo a thorough assessment of their care needs by a multidisciplinary team of healthcare professionals. It is important to note that any funding is based on the individual’s primary health needs rather than their financial situation.

The assessment considers the following factors to determine eligibility for NHS CHC:

Nature of needs: The primary consideration is the nature and complexity of the individual’s healthcare needs. This includes assessing the level of support required for tasks such as mobility, communication, nutrition, and continence.
Intensity of needs: Taking into account factors such as the frequency and duration of interventions required to manage their condition.
Complexity of needs: Including any underlying medical conditions or cognitive impairments, is considered. This may involve assessing the need for specialist medical interventions or ongoing monitoring.
Unpredictability of needs: Including the risk of acute deterioration or sudden changes in health status that require immediate intervention.
Evidence-Based Decision: Gathered from various sources, including medical records, care assessments, and input from healthcare professionals and caregivers.
Decision-Making Process: Following the assessment, a decision is made by the multidisciplinary team regarding the individual’s eligibility for NHS CHC. If eligible, the NHS will fully fund the individual’s care needs, including accommodation costs if they are in a care home setting.

If you believe you or your loved one may be eligible for NHS CHC funding, you can request an assessment from your local Clinical Commissioning Group (CCG) or healthcare provider.

NHS Funded Nursing Care (FNC)

Is a contribution towards the nursing care costs for individuals who require nursing care in a care home.

The current standard rate for NHS FNC is set by the government as £235.88 per week (standard rate) and is paid directly to the care home to contribute towards the cost of nursing care provided. Eligibility for NHS FNC is assessed as part of the overall assessment for NHS Continuing Healthcare.

The criteria for NHS FNC eligibility include:

Need for Nursing Care: The individual must have been assessed as needing nursing care, typically provided by a registered nurse. This may include tasks such as administering medication, wound care, and other clinical interventions.
Living in a Care Home: To be eligible the individual must be living in a care home registered to provide nursing care. This ensures that the funding is used to support the costs associated with nursing care provision.
Assessment Process: Eligibility is typically assessed as part of the overall assessment for NHS CHC as described above.
Funding Contribution: If eligible, the NHS will make a standard contribution towards the individual’s nursing care costs, which is paid directly to the care home.

If an individual is not eligible for NHS CHC but requires nursing care, they may still be eligible for NHS FNC.

What are the personal financial and legal considerations for funding residential care

Everyone’s personal financial and legal situation is different with considerations such as estate planning, power of attorney arrangements, and tax implications.

Understanding these factors, by seeking appropriate legal and financial advice is crucial for making informed decisions. These professional are also able to provide guidance on which funding option applies to your situation.

When looking for fund support, this will involve a detailed financial assessment of the individuals personal circumstances including savings, assets, income, and property ownership. There are quite complex rules surrounding financial assessments, which is why it is good to get assistance to understand how assets will be treated in the process.

Here are five key rules surrounding financial assessments, to be aware of:

Treatment of Savings and Investments – The value of savings and investments above a certain threshold (known as the capital limit) may be taken into account when determining an individual’s contribution to care costs. The current capital limit for England is £23,250 (as of April 2022). Individuals with savings and investments above this threshold may be required to pay for their care in full or contribute towards the cost.
Treatment of Property – In England, if an individual owns their own home and moves into residential care, the value of the property may be included in the assessment. However, there are certain exemptions and disregards that may apply, such as if a spouse or dependent relative continues to live in the property or if the property is deemed to be disregarded for certain reasons (e.g., it is still occupied by a carer).
Income Considerations – Income, including pensions, benefits, and any other regular payments, are considered. Income above a certain threshold may be used to contribute towards the cost of care. However, individuals are entitled to keep a certain amount of their income as a personal expense allowance (PEA), currently at least £28.25 per week.
Treatment of Trusts and Gifts – If an individual has transferred assets into a trust or given away assets within a certain timeframe before needing residential care, this may be subject to scrutiny as part of the assessment. Local authorities have the authority to investigate and potentially deem such transfers as deliberate deprivation of assets, which could affect the individual’s eligibility for financial support.
Deprivation of Assets Rules – These rules are in place to prevent individuals from deliberately reducing their assets to avoid paying for residential care. If it’s determined that an individual has deliberately deprived themselves of assets to avoid paying for care, the local authority may still take those assets into account in the financial assessment. Deliberate deprivation of assets can include actions such as transferring assets into someone else’s name or giving away assets without receiving adequate compensation in return.

We recommend families receive independent advice from financial advisors and legal experts, who can provide up to date guidance on how assets are treated in the assessment process and help them understand their options for funding care. They can also provide information on Care Fees Annuities (or Immediate Needs Annuities, as they’re sometimes called), designed to cover the shortfall between your income and the cost of your care for the rest of your life. The income is tax-free and paid directly to the care provider.

Additional tips when funding a move into residential care:

It is important to research the variations in the costs by different care providers

The cost of residential care can vary significantly depending on factors such as location, the level of care needed, facilities provided, and the type of care home chosen.

There is also the differing pricing models to consider, from the full transparent all inclusive fee approach we favour, to the base cost plus paid by hour model of some of the larger chains, it is important to understand these cost variations, so not to be surprised by steep increases as an individuals care needs increase over time.

At the Huntington and Langham Estate, we are consciously not the lowest cost provider of Residential, Nursing and Dementia care in Hindhead, but we are transparent with no hidden extras from day one. This is because we are confident that our level of care exceeds that of other providers, with a higher ratio of flexibility and time provided to residents living in our care based on their needs not our schedule.

Do your homework and understand the application and assessment processes.

Applying for a place and the funding for residential care often involves navigating complex application processes, including completing forms, providing documentation, and undergoing assessments.

We often have families come to us for the first time hoping to place a relative within a couple of days, but there are strict rules from the care quality commission in place, which we need to follow to complete a care assessment before new residents can move in.

“Having never been involved in having to sort out any care home facilities before it was a very steep learning curve. I naively thought that respite care, for my weekend away, could be organised very quickly, but soon learned that it isn’t the case” Husband of Langham Court Resident,

Sensory Trail supporting Dementia Action Week

Posted on 10 May 2024 by Nicky Macfarlane

In support of Dementia Action Week 2024, The Huntington & Langham Estate are opening their grounds for a Sensory Trail on Saturday 18^th May from 10am to 4pm. The trail consists of nearly a kilometre of wheelchair-accessible gravel paths through grazing fields of sheep and horses and wildlife-rich woodland.

Along the trail there will be garden-related memorabilia to spot and handmade crafts to catch your eye while listening out for the sounds of the various avian visitors to the Estate, including the tapping of a hungry woodpecker and the screech of a soaring buzzard.

The trail will take you to the lakeside pavilion or the covered picnic benches outside the Shepherd’s Hub tearoom where you are welcome to sit for a while. There will be hot and cold drinks available from the Sherpherd’s Hub for a small donation to Alzheimer’s Society, and you are welcome to bring your own picnic if you wish.

In the morning, between 10am to 12noon there will also be opportunities to take part in some dementia-friendly and family-friendly activities, including mindfulness moments with Kat from Creating Kinder Kids, gentle walking exercise sessions with Jo from STOMP Fitness, and rides around the Estate on the Cycling Without Age electric-assisted tricycle. And in the afternoon, there will be trips available in the Estate’s own adapted electric buggies.

No need to book, just turn up on the day and enjoy the Estate.

A virtual tour of our new room in Huntington House.

Posted on 28 April 2024 by Nicky Macfarlane

Take a virtual tour of this newly refurbished room in Huntington House

This newly refurbished room has been converted into one of the largest rooms in Huntington House, with plenty of space so that the layout can be flexible, depending on the preferences of the resident, with space for any furniture they wish to bring with them to make it feel like home.

Situated in an interesting part of the Victorian building, the room has high ceilings and low windows on the first floor. It once had a vaulted ceiling for the ballroom downstairs, with the organ set against the wall and gallery area to watch the dances below.

With views across the golden valley which is a National Trust woodland in the distance, with the horses grazing in the fields beyond. Perfect for watching the changing seasons.

The newly refurbished room also includes an en-suite wet room and certainly worth coming to take a tour in person.

Intergenerational Easter at the Estate

Posted on 12 April 2024 by Nicky Macfarlane

Easter at The Huntington & Langham Estate was eventful, kicked off with a special delivery of carefully handcrafted cards from the children at St John’s Infant School in Churt. Colourful and creative, the cards started many a conversation about the meaning of Easter, signs of Spring, finger painting, and of course how much everyone enjoys chocolate!

Managing Director Charlie Hoare, who attended St John’s Infant School himself over 30 years ago, said: “it was lovely seeing the residents reminded of their own childhood through the interactions with the children from St John’s. Indeed, it reminded me of my own! Everyone enjoys a bit of reminiscence. It brings a gratitude for having experienced that chapter of our lives.”

Residents spent the rest of the weekend enjoying the Lindt chocolate bunnies gifted by the Hoare family, taking part in an egg hunt, and catching up with family.

Other Spring events coming up on the Estate include a Eukele concert, a visit from Haslemere Museum, and trike rides around the grounds with Cycling Without Age.

The Estate will also be opening up their grounds to the public with a dementia-friendly sensory trail on Saturday 18^th May (10am-4pm) as part of Dementia Action Week.

July 2024 Newsletter from the H&L Estate